Sharing the Gospel with Japanese people (or any person for that matter) is best done in the context of relationships.
In this article, we will examine different ways you can seek to build relationships with Japanese people. The goal is for you to effectively strategize and plan your time evangelism and outreach. To build relationships for evangelism in Japan, you must understand the village society structure and know how to earn trust to pave the way for fruitful conversations.
Understanding the Village and its villagers
The Village
Japan is often referred to as a 村社会(“Mura Shakai” or Village Society). While much of Japan is highly modern and innovative, tendencies toward acting and thinking like a village abound. People are often suspicious of “outsiders” or people they do not know. This is the case whether you are American, Japanese, or something else.
What many would even consider large cities by American standards have this distinct flair to them. These would be many of the cities designated by government ordinance that have a population of less than 1 million. When our family lived in Niigata city (population 700k+), even the people there recognized Niigata as a Mura Shakai.
The Villagers
major cities (Tokyo, Osaka, and parts of Nagoya) attract people from all over Japan because of the job opportunities. White Collar new hires are often sent to company headquarters in these locations to help them learn the company’s culture. In these cities, it can be easy to dismiss the “village” concept because the people are pulled away from their “village” of deep family and friend networks.
However, this does not negate the fact that these cities are made up of many different villagers from all over the place. Even when moving to a large city, villagers can still act like villagers.
What the village and its villagers mean for evangelism
In a village society, people are typically skeptical of outsiders. Not only that, but there is also a strong distrust of people who one does not know. This means that to move beyond a surface level conversation, know and be known.
Just for a quick cultural comparison, in business literature, they will call Japanese society a “Connection” society while the U.S. is a “Contract” society. What this means is that people in Japan are more likely to do business with people they know and see that business as an ongoing relationship. In the U.S. people see work and projects as a contract. The contract becomes the guiding force instead of the connection and relationship. Once a contract is complete, you are free to find another person to work with.
People in the U.S. (subject to geography) are typically more open to having a conversation with a complete stranger. The person in line at checkout, the person at the check-in counter, the waiter at a restaurant are all people that it is perfectly acceptable to make small talk with. In Japan, this kind of small talky almost NEVER happens. Each person is an actor playing his part and working off of a script.
So far, we’ve explored the idea of Japan being a village society. How then does one go into a society and build relationships with those who are generally distrusting of people who they do not know?
Showing up
The basic premise here is that if “I don’t know you” means “I don’t trust you”, then allowing people to get to know you will lead to them begin to trusting you.
While it may sound simple, showing up may be one of the most important aspects of building trust.
Showing up is not a one-time action. Notice I didn’t say “show up” (which might imply once). I said “showing up” (continuing action). Repeatedly showing up at the same place over time helps to build trust.
Why?
Because when people see you over and over again, they realize that you aren’t just another random person. It is these people that you see regularly that you will eventually have micro conversations. These micro conversations will then lead to friendships and earned trust. THIS is the perfect environment to share the gospel in.
This means you may have to wade through a time of feeling VERY unproductive because you are simply trying to lay the groundwork (important groundwork might I add) for fruitful conversations. Keep in mind that true conversations happen in the context of trust.
What Showing Up looks like
Showing up means you consistently show up to the same place or same event to get to know the people there.
If you have young kids, it might mean consistently showing up at the park where other kids and their parents are hanging out in the afternoon. Let you kids enjoy themselves. Nod at the other parents. Let your kids share and borrow toys. These things lead to conversations between parents. You can then begin to ask for contact information and perhaps hang out as a family to build more trust and start asking about what they know about Jesus.
Where you can start showing up
Sports/hobbies/special interests
If you have a hobby or sport you enjoy, go to is for at least a 6-8 months (think of this as a bare minimum). Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Learn people’s names. Although sometimes you hit it off well with someone on the first interaction, this is not always the case. Something as simple as asking for contact info might get people suspicious.
After people recognize you and remember you, it might become more appropriate to ask for contact info. Send them a message the next time there is a scheduled event as ask them if they are going. After you’ve enjoyed the sport together several times, a casual invite to lunch to get to know the other person would be appropriate. Don’t see this lunch meetup as the end, but rather the beginning. You probably don’t know the other person as well as you might think. It takes time.
For example, I once met a guy about the same age at a Badminton group. We met up several times, we had lunch together, and he even came over to my house a few times. It wasn’t until a YEAR into friendship that he disclosed that he actually was married and had a son! While I was shocked, it was then that I realized that at that point, there was openness and trust.
Showing up on social media
Another thing to keep in mind is that you can use social media to your advantage to build trust. If you strategically post about your personal life and family as well as normal everyday things, people will be able to “see” who you are and learn more about you.
Again, they feel like they know you better so that means it is easier for them to trust you more.
While asking for someone’s direct contact information might be a hurdle too high, saying “can I follow you on Instagram” or something similar makes it easier for people to casually connect before diving into a more personal relationship by getting LINE contact info.
Many of these relationships might not be ready for a full-on gospel presentation right away. As Christians, we can feel the urgency (and pressure?) to share the Gospel right away. However, presenting the gospel when someone is ready to hear it can actually be selfish and counter productive.
Many evangelism strategies in the U.S. focus on how to pitch the Gospel to strangers. When small talk with people standing in line is a thing, you can probably have moderate success with this in the U.S. If you did something like that in Japan, you would feel good for “sharing” the gospel too. However, the more important question is whether the person you talked to actually “heard” the Gospel. They might have been looking at you and nodding, but if the whole time they are thinking “who is this person? Why are they talking to me?” then not only have they not heard the Gospel, but they also are less likely to listen again.
Unfortunately, it is not easy to have good metrics for relationship building. Things like passing out tracts, and knocking on strangers’ doors provide concrete numbers that mostly just make us feel good. Are we more concerned about out ego and feeling like we are doing something rather than playing to long game to earn trust and get an effective hearing of the Gospel in Japan?
Again, these are just some basic guidelines.
There are always (ALWAYS) exceptions. Sometimes a door is open right before your eyes. But you won’t know if you aren’t showing up.
Rookie mistakes in relationship building in Japan
We’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way. we will share them with you now so you (hopefully!) don’t make the same mistakes we have.
Trying to make the second interaction a different one
This is where you try to ask someone if they want to do something that is unrelated to the task that you initially connected about. If the genre is completely unrelated (i.e. you connected over a hobby, but you are asking if they want to go grab a bite) it just feels suspicious.
Of course, there are times when if you had some conversation about that particular thing where it would be natural to move in that direction. However, asking if someone wants to meet up and grab coffee sometime will probably be perceived as weird. Stranger danger!!
Too deep, too soon
Let’s say that after a few interactions, you have decided to grab lunch together. While you in no way need to hide that you are a Christian, making a gospel presentation to your new friend and pressing for a decision right then and there is probably too much too soon. They might have come just to enjoy a bit at a place that seems to be popular and maybe get to know you some. If you take things a completely different way, they may assume that you are actually not interested in them but just trying to fill a proselytizing quota.
Expect it to take multiple personal interactions and take the pressure off of yourself to make a “pitch” the first time you personally meet up. It may be more wise to ask them if you can meet up to share what you believe after you have personally interacted several times. That way, there are no surprises.
Only spending time with people who might accomplish your goals
This one is another one that is easy to fall into. After you first connect at a gathering (sports, hobby, or something else), you might find yourself deciding who you want to connect with based on their geography or availability. What might happen is that you could write off someone because they do not live close to your church. Also, you might write someone off and not pursue relationship building because they work on Sundays.
People move all the time, and change jobs all the time. Neither of these are good reasons to not begin the relationship building process.
Places to meet people
Sports
- If you are into sports, there many cities open up the middle school gymnasiums for personal use on weekday nights. In Nagoya, different gyms are open for different sports (i.e. basketball one day, badminton another day). Search for [your city or district name] 体育館個人開放
- Cities often have outdoor facilities for basketball and other sports. IF you like skateboarding, or basketball, you will probably have some options.
Your neighborhood park
If you have little kids, this is the place to be. As your children play with other children, they will naturally make friends. As their parents, you can then begin to connect with the parents of the other children. Note, after children enter elementary school, many of them don’t have nearly as much parental supervision outside the home. This will probably work best (but not exclusively) when you have children that are of kindergarten/preschool age or lower elementary school age.
Websites for events
- Meetup.com – This tends to attract more international people. You will find language exchanges and sometimes some sports. The Japanese to foreigner ratio can vary significantly from group to group.
- Net-menber – This is a Japanese website that focuses primarily on sports groups for adults. Soccer, baseball etc. You will need a certain level of Japanese proficiency to use this website. (side note, it is menber not member)
- Jmty – This is like a Japanese craigslist site. People post things for sale in addition to various events and gatherings. There are a lot of people who are looking for prospective amway (multi-level marketing company) clients here, so be careful.
- Twipla – This is a site that integrates with Twitter (X). Mainly used for boardgames and other minor events. If that’s your jam, it might be a good place to look.
- City newspaper – Many times, cities have a “free paper” (Japanese) where they will publish local events and activities. These can sometimes be helpful if you invite a family you are trying to deepen a relationship to go with you. You can ask questions and learn something too!
- Flyers at public gyms. – Many times, public gyms will have a rack of flyers and event information. They might also have information on classes or activities you can take part in. If you don’t have kids, this might be another way to meet people. (please note, these events can be primarily targeted at older people and may not be a good fit for you. Be sure to ask who the class is meant for and who comes so you don’t end up being the only man in a class full of 70 year old ladies!)