One issue that most long-term missionaries will have to face is the challenge of learning Japanese. While singles and newlywed couples may not find it quite as difficult to go to school and spend large amount of time with others outside of the home, those who have children may find it difficult for wives to adequately adapt and learn the language.
While most people know that language learning is a necessity, women can find it harder to focus on language learning when they take on a large part of normal household tasks such as making meals, washing dishes, and cleaning.
If you are a missionary family and have children, it can be outright overwhelming to juggle managing a house while learning a language. Trying to keep your sanity while taking care of kids from dawn to dusk and simultaneously working in a second language can be exhausting.
It is rare for a woman to be ok with her house being in disarray. Most women with self-respect do not like their house being unkept.
As of this writing, our family has three children ages 5, 3, and 1. Two of the three were born in Japan, and one was born while my wife was learning Japanese in a 2-year language school.
While I was born and raised in Japan, my wife needed to attend language school, so we know what. It is like to have kids and feel the pressure of keeping up a house.
A sad scenario
If you’re still in language school, you will want to maximize your time with people since language and culture are best learned in the real world and not just from a text book.
But women know more than ever that there is laundry to wash and hang out, floors to be swept/vacuumed, and showers to clean.
Many a missionary wife has felt the tension between wanting to learn the language and wating to have a decent home.
It is extremely easy for wives a significant amount of time taking care of the home. Under normal circumstances, this is commendable. But to thrive in a second language and culture, we have to think of ways to maximize time spent with the local people. Household chores take a significant chunk of a wife’s time so we will look at ways to alleviate this to maximize her language learning time.
Silver work
Many people in Japan who reach the age of retirement still look for ways to work. As a way to help these people find work, many city governments have what is called a Silver Workforce Center (シルバー人材センター or “shiruba- jinzai senta-”). We will just call it Silver for short.
Silver accepts applications from individuals looking to work and then connects those people with individuals needing jobs done. From parking lot attendants to in-home help, Silver provides a host of services.
It is not uncommon for older women to sign up and make themselves available for in-home help such as cooking and cleaning.
We have used Silver in two different cities. In our experience, Silver typically expects you to have the person for at least 2 hours each time they come. Additionally, you will be expected to pay for their transportation to and from your place.
The process
You will need someone who has some language ability to help you with the process. If your language ability is still on the ground floor, consider asking a bilingual Japanese friend or the missionary you are working with to help you get things started.
Initial phone call
Typically, the process begins with a phone call to Silver. If you live in a large city like we do, the city will have different branches in charge of different areas of the city. So be sure to call the right one. IF you are not sure, just call the one you can find and they wll be able to give you the phone number for the right branch.
It is at this point, you will want to tell them that you are looking for someone to help with 家事(kaji). Workers are comfortable with cleaning but not cooking. You will want to be clear at this point what kinds of household tasks you need done so they can match you with the right person. You will also need to tell them how frequently you want the person to come.
2-3 times a week for 2-3 hours each time can help cover laundry, dishes, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming etc. Depending on the size of your place, you may be able to ask them to cook a meal as well to free you up from having to make a meal.
If the person who comes to help does do cooking, you will need to work out an arrangement for how to get the groceries to cook with.
Matching
After the initial phone call, you will need to wait until they match you with someone looking for work. This process can take a few weeks, so be patient. In the meantime, you can use a private company to help with household chores. You can do this by looking for 家事代行サービス (Kaji Daiko sa-bisu) online.
However, this is not typically a good long-term option because of the cost involved. You would pay at least double or triple of what it would cost to hire someone through silver, so the expense can become large. We would recommend having enough money in a setup fund to help cover this time.
First Meeting
Sometimes he individual will come on their own the very first time and simply take instructions. Others who may not be as comfortable walking in to a home that speaks a foreign language may want to come alone and may be accompanied by a worker from Silver. During this time, you can tell them what you are looking for.
You will probably need to discuss the detail of what you want them to do and the frequency. This would be things like how often you want the bathtub scrubbed out or which days you would like meals made (if at all).
You will also need to make sure you know what they need to do their job (cleaning supplies).
Payment
Because Silver acts as the middleman, you do not have to worry about paying the person working for you directly. The person will keep track of their hours, bring it to you at the end of the month for you to put your Hanko on, and then submit that to Silver. Silver will then send you a bill in the mail which you can take and pay at the convenience store. Alternatively, you can set up automatic bank drafts from a Japanese bank account and save yourself the hassle of going to the convenience store to pay.
A range of expectations
People work and bring a range of expectations so you will want to make sure that you are clear about exactly what you are looking for.
For example, some people may not be comfortable working in your home if you are not there. If that is the case, you can use the time they are cleaning to work on writing exercises and homework. Once they leave, your homework will be done and you will have the freedom to go out and meet some people and further practice your language skills. At the end of their time working, you will also be able to speak with them and get language practice that way. You will be able to learn everyday words and colloquialisms that your language school may not teach you. If he person cooks for you, you will also get to experience what Japanese home cooking is like.
Others will be perfectly fine with working unsupervised while you are away. If this is the case, you can go to a park and meet others or let your children plan and make friends if they are young. If they are older, you can go to a coffee shop and speak with someone while you work on your homework and talk to the person behind the counter. The goal is to do you e homework and be out and about to absorb as much of the language as possible.